Jesus Walks into a Bar...

Crawling the Detroit 2018 Santarchy with Jesus
By Melissa Walsh

My friend's cousin, Mike, went as Jesus. And all were amazed.

Jesus is standing next to me at the bar waiting for a drink. I just received my whiskey on the rocks.

He's wearing a white gown with red sash and sporting a headband made of twigs delicately wrapped with small flashing red lights. He has dark longish hair and a full beard. He appears to be in his thirties.

A beardless man wearing a Santa suit approaches, announcing, "Hey, Jesus. I'm going to order a water. Will you hook me up?"

Jesus laughs, eyes twinkling, as the bartender hands him his order.

"If you don't," the guy wearing the Santa suit warns, waving his finger, "I'm going to toss the water out on the floor and make you walk on it!"

I laugh with Jesus. He shoots me a wink and holds up a shot glass of clear liquid as if to make a toast.

"Happy birthday, Jesus."

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Socializing with a tangible Jesus spun my beliefs into collisions in my mind -- common sense battling religious guilt. 

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