By Melissa Walsh

The CBC biopic about hockey's great Howe Family. Mr Hockey: The Gordie Howe Story portrays the transition the Howes experienced following Gordie's retirement from the National Hockey League (NHL) and Detroit Red Wings, when he and sons Marty and Mark played together on the World Hockey Association (WHA)'s Houston Aeros. 

It's an incredible, stranger-than-fiction tale - one of hockey's many amazing true stories. The Aeros' Howe trio likely would not have played together if it weren't for the rink-cred savvy and support of wife/mom Colleen Howe, whom Gordie called the "best teammate" of his career. The late Mrs. Howe, as the film well portrays, was legendary as a hockey wife, mom, and agent.

Over the years, I had read about this phase of the Howes' hockey journey in books written by and about the Howes and in The Rebel League by Ed Willes. However, I didn't recall reading about Gordie's "first hockey coach."

A scene at the end of Mr. Hockey presents so well what inspires any athlete to compete. It's love of the game. (Here is a link to audio of this scene.)  In the room before the final game of the WHA championship series, which the Aeros swept, Gordie Howe makes a short speech. He credits the teacher he had at eight years old - Mrs. Crawford - as being his "first hockey coach." 

"She taught me the first rule of hockey," he says. "She said, 'Gordie, if you're not gonna have a good time out there, there's no point in playing the hockey.'"

Whether this scene is true to real life remains for me to verify. To that end, I sent an inquiry to the Howe family about the validity of this scene. 

Nonetheless, the scene is beautiful. It reflects the power of teaching, the power of nurturing a child's confidence in pursuing what he or she loves to do. Accordingly, Gordie Howe, aka "Mr. Hockey," - a man regarded as the greatest hockey player of all time - acknowledged his school teacher as having been a critical influence in him realizing his purpose. That is power. It's responsibility. Teachers, coaches, and parents are responsible for nurturing passion and supporting the dreams of the children in their care. 

As teachers, coaches, and parents, meeting this responsibility is paramount to our personal goals and ambitions. When we fall short of meeting this responsibility, by being either critical naysayers or overzealous overlords of a child's vision of purpose for his or her life, then we fail our mission, neglect our privilege, of teaching and leading.

This week is Teacher Appreciation Week. Looking back, who is a teacher you appreciate? And why?

Mine is a long-term substitute teacher I had in fifth grade who told me, "Melissa, you have a special talent for expressing yourself in writing." I was a shy kid, who struggled to communicate in the classroom, on the playground, and even among family. I enjoyed writing and frequently had my nose in a book; so for me, this teacher opened my pathway to purpose. I will remember and appreciate her as long as I live.

A scene from Mr. Hockey: The Gordie Howe Story:

HEY, FELLAS? UM...NOW, YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE TO MAKE DRESSING ROOM SPEECHES, MOSTLY 'CAUSE I'M PRETTY BAD AT THEM. THERE'S A FEW WORDS I'D LIKE TO SAY TO ALL OF YOU. UM, WHEN I WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD, GROWING UP IN SASKATCHEWAN, I HAD A SCHOOLTEACHER, THE VERY FIRST HOCKEY COACH I EVER HAD.
HER NAME WAS MRS. CRAWFORD.

WAS SHE HOT? [CACKLES]

UH, I WOULD SAY NOT, SMOKEY,
BUT, UH, BUT SHE WAS REAL GOOD TO ME, AND SHE TAUGHT ME THE VERY FIRST RULE OF HOCKEY. SHE SAID, UH, "GORDIE, IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA HAVE A GOOD TIME OUT THERE, THERE'S NO POINT IN PLAYING THE HOCKEY."
A GOOD TIME. I HAD A REAL GOOD TIME
PLAYING HOCKEY WITH YOU FELLAS THIS YEAR. THIS HAS BEEN THE MOST FUN I'VE EVER HAD PLAYING THE GAME.
SO I WANT TO THANK YOU ALL. THIS YEAR WAS SPECIAL. NOW, TO MAKE SURE I DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS AGAIN, LET'S GO WIN A CUP.

​© 2014 Melissa Walsh

By Melissa Walsh

It's that time of year when millions of moms make the resolution of working out to get into sexy shape in time for bathing-suit weather. 

I have the solution. And It's not joining a gym. It's hitting the ice and playing hockey - the best calorie-burner and buns-of-steel work out of all time, which also doubles as a girls' night out. 

Playing hockey is clearly the most fun way to develop sexy muscle while having fun acting like a kid with girlfriends. And though the hockey pants may give the illusion of a fat or big butt, the reality is that under the hockey pants is lean hockey muscle that looks fabulous in a bathing suit. 

Before I began playing hockey four years ago, my workouts of cardio and lifting weights required determined, Melissa-get-moving, just-do-it self-discipline and the motivation that can only come from hard rock music pounding into my brain through headphones.

Now I just go out and play with friends to get an awesome workout. I happily head off to my fountain of youth - the ice rink - and play hockey with and against my girlfriends. Though I play three to five times a week, I wish I could do it more. Everyday would be great. My hockey friends are collectively the most interesting and nicest group of ladies I've ever been around. I've found them to be much kinder and way more cool than the PTA and Bible Study ladies. Just saying…

So I urge my hockey mom readers out there to give hockey a try as a way to get in shape. If you can skate a bit, go get yourself some hockey equipment and join a women's hockey club. You may even consider joining a low-level co-ed league. If you have never skated, no problem. You can learn. It's a fun challenge, like picking up golf. You'll get the hang of it if you stick with it long enough. There are many adult learn-to-skate classes out there. 

Trust me. If you enjoy watching hockey, you'll enjoy playing it more. And you'll rejoice in the benefits of fun with friends and sexy muscle. You'll acquire new camaraderie and new confidence, looking fantastic in your yoga pants and jeans.

Follow my advice … one day, you'll find yourself in "the room" with your friends following a game, telling jokes, bitching about the refs and sipping on your 111-calorie Blue Light while looking at your calorie watch displaying that you burned 825 calories in an hour. Then you'll think, "I'm sooooo glad I decided to play hockey. It's awesome!"

By Melissa Walsh

Picture it: age 50-plus guys, some who've played hockey together since childhood, enjoying some "pops" following a tournament or league game. They're sharing stories of battles won or lost, a history of hockey tales ranging a timespan from over 40 years ago to an hour ago. They're laughing, smiling, joking. As they celebrate the game and endure aching knees, hips, shoulders, or backs, they feel a healing, magical energy derived only from competing hard as part of a hockey fraternity.

I began playing hockey in my early 40s, and as a result have felt incredibly energized, empowered, and youthful. For me, taking up the game relatively late in life was like a rebirth. I gained a new chance to grow skills and to compete, striving to become a hockey star. I've been blessed with fresh dreams and vibrant fun with my teammates and the wonderful senior women's hockey sisterhood.

As I witness my sons' enjoyment of the hockey game and its inherent will-to-win challenge, I fully understand the worth of playing the game at any level and at any age ~ the value of playing hockey is priceless. The end of my "investment" of time and money in my sons' youth-hockey journey is not landing a scholarship or pursuing a pro playing career; it is the chance to be forever young.

As my boyfriend's number-one fan, I've had the pleasure of being a spectator at Over-50 Tier-1 Senior Men's competitions, including the CARHA World Cup and the USA Hockey Senior Men's Nationals. Impressive. These seasoned men skate like early twenty-somethings, with sophisticated skills of hands and feet, sharp hockey-sense instincts, and effective man strength. They lose thirty years stepping onto the ice. And though their bodies may ache after each game, the ice preserves youth in their hearts.
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So there it is, the secret to staying young at heart. Play hockey. Keep playing. And don't let anyone tear the sweater off your back.

​© 2013 Melissa Walsh

By Melissa Walsh

Don't read too much into your Mite team's season record. At this highly developmental, early level, the reality of many wins for one team and many losses for another is just the way the blue puck bounces.

So your Mite's team won just about every game...

You experienced a season that's out of the ordinary in youth hockey - one that actually falls short of the ideal. According to USA Hockey, Mite teams in a healthy league ideally win or lose between 30 to 70 percent of games.

In rink society, moms who've been through an all-win Mite season have felt the peculiar social ramifications of a winning record. It can be lonely at the top of Mite hockey - the murmurings that your Mite team is loaded, that the coaching is too intense, that your team is too physical, etc. There are the dirty looks from opposing-team parents when you stand and cheer for your team's fourth or fifth goal of the first period. 

The rink gossip allegations could be entirely unfounded. Your Mite team may be showing excellent sportsmanship, and your coaches may be absolutely brilliant in their instruction of 7- and 8-year olds. If that's the case, then just enjoy victory and your child's experience of youth hockey glory while you can.

Or the situation could be that beneath the surface of final-buzzer victory - the triumphant hoisting up of the sticks, tossing of the gloves, and hugging of the goalie - your champion Mite team's season journey was far from ideal.

Poor winning Mite team dynamics can be fueled by a head coach operating with a win-at-all-costs mentality  - for example, rolling only two lines instead of developing the whole bench. Though being selective in who gets ice time may be appropriate on occasion for higher-level youth teams, not playing the entire Mite roster evenly is inappropriate because this early level is so skills-centric and highly developmental.

Back in 2006, USA Hockey's Ken Martel said in USA Hockey Magazine, "At all levels, if you don't develop your bench you are in trouble - you won't be the team that you should be." A coach not only develops each player individually by rolling the entire bench, he develops the team dynamic, which is critical to long-term team development.

Ideally, Mites - win or lose - are developing a love for the sport. A sense of fraternity is important to this end. The whole team ought to own game results together. To develop the game skills and confidence that can't be nurtured in practices, each Mite needs opportunities to maneuver in pressure situations. If a Mite goalie is not breaking a sweat in net because his team is in the offensive zone for most of the game, he's not developing.

Still, Mom, wear your spirit scarf with pride, but for the sake of rink etiquette cheer a little more gently with an all-win record, and remember that a winning season is just one season of glory in the great youth hockey journey. Next season, your team might lose some games and have an even better season!

So your Mite's team lost just about every game...

Clearly, losing every game falls short of the ideal season, but don't lose heart. Sure, losing stinks, but it is possible to make a losing season a good experience for long-term hockey development.

Chances are that Mites on a team tallying many losses are continuing to hone their game as well as growing tougher skin. As long as the adults - coaches and parents - are handling the losses well, the kids are still developing their love for hockey.

If the coaches and parents are encouraging the Mites rather than berating them and instructing rather than criticizing, they're promoting a good Mite hockey experience despite the losses. If the coach is developing the entire bench and treating each Mite with kindness and respect, then he is fostering team fraternity. And remember, all that the coach can do is teach from a healthy store of knowledge and patience. The rest is up to the kids.

A losing Mite season won't in itself scar a player or stigmatize a team, but ugly coaching and dumb hockey-parenting will. 

So treat improvement as a win. Consider the possibility that they didn't lose, they just ran out of time. If your team narrows a scoring gap from the last time it faced an opponent, then chalk it up as one for team development. In other words, if you team beat its spread, rejoice in the successful effort. What's more, your goalies probably became quite skilled in handling pressure in the net. Be sure to tally and acknowledge the saves.

Encouragement will put a smile on their little Mite faces and urge them to keep working hard. More important, they'll learn that youth hockey is about fun and learning the game over performance. Remind yourself and your Mite that stats are poor indicators of the skills and friendships being built.

So wear your Mite's team swag proudly and never stop believing that your Mites will be winners in developing a love for playing hockey. Because in hockey, heart matters a whole lot.

 ​© 2013 Melissa Walsh

By Melissa Walsh
“There is no end. There is no beginning. There is only the passion of life.” ~Frederico Fellini

Without passion there would be no hockey. Players do not pursue hockey as a life activity without having evolved a passion, a true love, for the game.

So the way to the heart of the hockey player is identifying with his, or her, love for the hockey game. If your Valentine is a hockey player, show your love by appreciating the hockey game with these simple LOVE steps:

L - Learn about the hockey game.
To the rookie observer, it may look like hockey players are just scrambling wildly after a puck, but the game is really more controlled than it seems. There are rules for organizing the chaos. To share the experience of watching a game with your hockey-playing sweetheart, learn what “offsides” and “icing” are. Learn the ref calls. The “Spectator Mom” section of The Rookie Hockey Mom offers a complete explanation of game rules and ref signals.

O - Open up to the culture of the hockey game.
Hockey is not just a game; it’s a lifestyle. Grow an appreciation of what hockey has meant to your hockey player in developing character and building friendships. Understand your player’s desire to play regularly in the beer league or weekly drop-in and the joy of hanging out with teammates in the room after the game. Like yoga or weight-training, or even meditation, playing hockey is a way to cope with and recover from the stresses of life. Playing hockey not only hones physical strength and mental toughness, it provides community for life’s ups and downs.

V - Value the player’s passion for playing the hockey game.
Passion and struggle go hand in hand, and this intertwining of passion and struggle is the experience of the hockey game. It is the drive to play better each game, each shift. The will to win is the hero’s battle for the hockey player.

E - Encourage the player in evolving skills for competing in the hockey game.
Striving to get better at something is good for the soul. And as physical demanding an activity as playing hockey is, the drive to play better keeps a player feeling young at heart and physically strong. If your player is excited about achieving a points lead or an impressive plus/minus average, celebrate with him, or her.
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Enjoy the LOVE of hockey with your player this Valentine’s Day.

​© 2013 Melissa Walsh